


The Roof is on Fire

by ruruie



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, a simple fic about the reader with depression and renji being a saint, comfort fic if you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24954016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruruie/pseuds/ruruie
Summary: In the darkest of moments, Renji is there to offer comfort and love.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	The Roof is on Fire

**Author's Note:**

> This is an edit/rewrite of an oooold fic I wrote back in 2009 or 2010, not sure. Found it on an old account of mine that was archived in my Google Drive. Anyway, it was something that I wrote to comfort me, and hey, why not share?

The feeling of being swallowed was nothing new to you. At best, you could tread water, head just above the surface, able to breathe, but teetering on the verge of going under. At your worst, you were at the bottom, being covered in sediment, unable to see the light of the sun, dark water crushing you from above. 

But this was life as a Soul Reaper, and there wasn’t much you could do. You chose this life and all the horrible that came with it. And while it was source of most of the things that weighed you down, it was also one of the few things that kept you afloat. 

In reality, these few things that kept you from staying at the bottom of your abyss were fleeting things. You determined that they would all one day be taken from you; a relic of the past. 

Worst of all, you were sure that one of these sources would run dry, like an overused oasis in the middle of a vast desert. That was why you refused to look at your buzzing phone, the soft vibration resonating against the bedside table. You weren’t sure how long you had been in your house, though you knew it couldn’t have been more than three days, as your leave was up then, and your captain would have no issue with busting down the door to come get you. 

So for a now, curling under the blankets in the dark room and hiding from the world seemed to be the best option. You chuckled darkly, the thought that you were like a child hiding from monsters under the covers crossing your mind, adding at least a little humor to the situation. Though, it too, was fleeting. 

Time passed, as it always did, and you weren’t sure if you were asleep or not, but the sound of your front door opening, low muttering, and footsteps heading toward your bedroom certainly roused your senses. Sitting up, you closed your eyes, analyzing the room to see who or what was in your house and how easy it would be to remove them. 

Identifying the source of spiritual energy entering your domain, you tried to smooth down your hair and shove dishes and cups into spaces unseen, for the intruder was one you could not remove. It made your despair even worse knowing there was nothing you could do to truly cover up the state you were in. 

The light in the room came on and standing in the doorway was a face you hoped you wouldn’t see until your leave was over. 

“You look like shit.”

Crass as always, eloquence was never his strongest attribute. Nonetheless, you knew Renji didn’t mean it the way it came out, and even your drowning senses couldn’t override that logical assessment. Still, it wasn’t flattering to hear, or made you feel any better. 

“Thanks,” the bite in your voice came out a little too harsh, making the red head tense up a little. Softening, you sighed, looking down at the bed you were still seated in. “Sorry, I know you didn’t mean it like that...”

He shrugged, moving into the room completely to reveal a small shopping bag, setting it on the bedside table next to your phone before sitting at the foot of the futon, smiling a smile only you got to see. It was tender and soft, much unlike the cocky smirks or feral teeth showing at usually appeared when he was in public. 

“I deserved that bit of sarcasm, I didn’t really choose the best of words.” A hand came up to scratch the back of his neck, a slight nervous habit he had. “But really, you don’t look good...And you haven’t been answering my calls or texts. I even warned you I was coming...so I guess you’re not even reading them.”

You leaned your back against the wall, adjusting the covers to drape over your lap. “No, sorry. I just...I dunno, I don’t really wanna look at my phone right now...Or anything, really.” 

Your head followed your back’s lead, resting on the wall as you closed your eyes. You didn’t want to look at Renji, not now. Sadly, from times past, you knew the look he was giving you. This wasn’t the first time you had fallen into a dark place, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

Still, he was here, and his body moved to be closer to yours, his hand resting on your thigh. 

“I figured as much. I would have been by sooner, but I was on a mission. But hey! I brought snacks!” The bag he placed on the bedside table earlier began to rustle, and you opened your eyes to see two bags of snacks in his hands, one clearly for each of you. His smile beamed in the room, seeming to make the place a little brighter. Small gestures like this were what made you smile, but also deepened the despair. 

At your core, you were so desperately afraid that Renji would be sick of you one day. Get up and leave, opting not to deal with you at your worst. It had unraveled so many friendships and relationships before this one. 

Tears flowed, sobs wracked your chest, and your hands covered your face. Mind swirling and the world closing in, the dam broke and the torrent won. The sound of your cries echoed in the room and were only muffled when Renji moved to sit next to you, pulling you close to his chest. 

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong? Did you not want the snacks?” Panic mode had clearly been set off for him, and it was made clearer when he began stroking the tangled mass of hair on your head. “I didn’t mean to make it worse, promise.”

Arms wrapped around you as you wrapped your arms around him, crying into his chest. You were certain that his shirt was getting soaked with tears and snot, but he didn’t seem to care. After not getting a response the first time, he just held you while you cried, not begging for an answer, just letting you get it all out. 

Eventually, you rose from his chest and wiped your face on your sleeve, needing to do laundry anyway, and planning on doing his to repay his kindness. 

“Better?” His arm was still around you, his soft expression looking down. It amazed you that he could put on such a front in public. The stupid, reckless, overindulgent, mooching fool that he was in public was barely a scratch on the surface of who he truly was. At heart, he was soft and caring, knowing full well the wide range of pain and suffering and then some. It was the reason you were so shocked when you two first started dating, this new side of him making you fall deeper in love each day.

The clarity that came after a good cry was always like being reborn and refocused. 

“A little,” your reply was a little choked, fighting back the lingering sobs and tears, “There’s just been a lot going on. I’m stressed, there’s been seemingly endless fighting, and on my days off I end up like this. Even worse, I’m just afraid you’ll leave me. That this is all I’ll become.” 

Squeezing tighter, Renji’s frame pressed into you, his being a source of comfort. His reply echoed through you, the rumbling of his voice mixing with the low beat of his heart. 

“Pfft, like I would leave you because of this. You know how many times I locked myself in my room? I’ve been here. Plus, this isn’t even all you are. It’s hard to see, but you’re a lot more than this. Sure, this is part of who you are, and I accept that, but you’re also the same person who saw Shuhei bring a motorcycle into the Seireitei, jumped on it, and crashed it before he had the chance to ride it and get in trouble.” 

You both laughed at the memory, the stinging regret painted on Shuhei’s face a memory neither of you are going to forget for a long time to come. 

“You’re also the same person who bought me more sunglasses when I used up all my money on bills. I don’t think anyone else here would do that.”

He paused for a moment, just holding you tight, making sure you didn’t need to cry more before he continued on. 

“And you care more than any person I know. You’re stressed all the time because you pour your heart and soul into your jobs. I’m pretty sure you still hold the record for saving the most souls in your district in a 24 hour period. And!” his dramatics were on clear display, making you giggle a little at how corny he was being.

“You’ve cared for me more times than I can count. Back when we were just friends, you were always there to pick me back up and make sure I could continue on, whatever it was. If you think back, I was crying on your shoulder a few years ago and you were the one telling me that I’d be okay.” 

You sighed, crawling into Renji’s lap to hug him fully, sick of the side hug that you were in. Arms held you close, and your head rested on the space between his neck and shoulder, his warm skin nice against your cooled cheek. 

“It’s just part of who we are. And I’ll take the good and bad, whatever they are.” 

A small noise of content left your mouth, snuggling deeper into Renji’s shoulder, nose clear enough to breathe him in. He always smelled so nice, even if he wasn’t trying to be fancy. It was just as comforting as his hold. 

“I get that...Kind of like how I accept you when you fly off the handle, or don’t wear deodorant.” 

“Yeah! Exactly! Wait—wha!?” Scrambling, Renji lifted his arm to check to be sure he didn’t walk around the whole day smelling like ass. Thankfully, your teasing got the better of him and you laughed again for the second time in a while. His energy was infectious, and you were sure that even if he came over, sat in the room and said nothing that you would start to feel okay. 

You both sat the room a while, enjoying the other’s presence. It was a far cry from years past, going from arguing constantly, to goofing off, to scheming together on what to do next. It was calm, and something that you both needed. 

“(Y/n)...”

“Hm?” 

"When you’re ready, let’s get you some help...Sort out a lot of these things. It’s what helped me the most.” 

You nodded, knowing he was right. 

“Buuuuut~” the goofy tone his voice took returned, the seriousness hanging in the air vanishing. “I brought snacks, and I’m eating mine. Want yours?”

Nodding, you were tossed a bag, ripping it open, and leaning back, eating for the first time in a while. 

You hoped, with all your heart, that these moments would never end. And when your mind was cleared, you were certain they wouldn’t, your fears a falsehood.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also pretty sure the title was a nod to the song with the same name, though for the life of me I cannot remember how this fic and that song are connected. Ah, the good old days of song fics.


End file.
